Quick-Post: What does every Sox fan want for Christmas?

The answer is of course a naked, swearing Ozzie Guillen: 

Monday Grab Bag: Yay, it's game week again!

Ah, a nice and relaxing weekend of essentially nothing of consequence. Now on to a surprisingly full bag...

Georgia Stinks - I sat down Saturday night to watch the Georgia/Mississippi St game. Ohhhh boy is Georgia awful. Besides this being their 3rd straight loss, they lost in Starkville, MS for the first time since 1951. Woof. They couldn't move the ball at all on offense, only finding the end zone after the game had been decided, and their new and improved 3-4 defense couldn't stop an impotent version of the zone-read spread option. Whats more the 10th Bulldog (Georgia, not Miss St) arrest of the season took place Sunday when Demetre Baker was caught under suspicion of DUI and "other charges." This is a team full of bad mojo right now, and CU couldn't be catching them at a better time. Coach Mark Richt is the SEC's version of Dan Hawkins, and had the "I know I'm fired" look going Saturday night. ("The loss at State seems a tipping point. It seems the game in which the majority of Georgia fans stopped seeing Mark Richt as the answer and came to regard him as the problem." -link) I really don't know how much A.J. Green returning will help this team. Listen, CU is still facing an up-hill climb against Georgia on Saturday night, but I like our chances much more than I did 2 or 3 weeks ago.

(All the 5-star talent in the world won't help you if you're out-coached)

Dolphis v Jets - I've been a Dolphin "fan" since I was 5, and the Jets game is always on fraught with drama and consternation. While I don't care as much as I did when I was younger, I still cared just enough to use the Fins game as the "commercial flip-channel" from Mad Men Sunday night. While the Fins eventually lost, their 2-minute drill in an attempt to tie the game was exciting, but it never should've happened. With a 1 point lead with just under 2 minutes to go, the Jets scored a TD. They then kicked the extra point to go up 8.... why? Why don't they go for two in that situation? If they convert the game is, for all intents and purposes, over. If they miss, the Dolphins still have to go the length of the field just to tie the game. You essentially risk nothing. Getting 8 points with under 2 minutes left is only slightly more difficult than getting 7. Getting 9 is damn near impossible. It was negative coaching from Rex Ryan, and just one more example of chicken-shit NFL coach decision making.

Braylon Edwards - Speaking of Fins/Jets, the Jets trotted out Braylon Edwards after his 1 quarter suspension for arrest on suspicion of DWI. 1 quarter? Seriously? Just don't punish him at all. I was all fired up to talk about cultivation of a culture supportive of miscreants, but Deadspin stole my thunder. What I will mention is that driving into work today I heard some idiot talk about the fact that getting arrested isn't necessarily against team rules, and so he shouldn't have been suspended, even for one quarter. That's bullshit. It's the same dumb-ass excuse that baseball players gave when they were caught doing steroids (well, It wasn't against team or MLB rules...). Violating the law supersedes team rules, dumbass. A professional organization shouldn't need to hold their employees hand and explain that committing a felony is against team rules. I know for damn sure that If I go out and commit a felony on Saturday night, that I will not be welcome at work Monday morning; no one from HR has to tell me that. Yes, yes... due process and all of that. He'll deserve a 2nd chance once that process has run its course, but he needs to sit his ass on the bench until then.

Ozzie and the Cubs - Hey, look kids, Ozzie Guillen is threatening to quit/retire/join the Cubs again. That must mean the end of the season is upon us. He does this every year, and yet people still report on it. I imagine it's easy for a reporter to get Ozzie Guillen to say just about anything. Ask him "Hey Ozzie, would you like an extension?" and you get a story about how he wants "assurance that are firmer than his current contract." Ask "Hey Ozzie, would you ever manage the Cubs?" and you get a story about how he would consider it "if pursued." Ozzie will say the honest truth (or whatever pops into his head at the moment) to whatever you ask him; he's just that type of guy. He's a beat reporters dream: don't have a story for tomorrows paper, just ask Ozzie some leading questions and there he goes. I just don't understand how people haven't caught on to this yet. Yes, Ozzie will be back next year; no, Ozzie won't manage the Cubs; no, he won't retire any time soon; yes, he is a pain in the ass, but he's a pain that usually wins ballgames despite predictions to the contrary. He's a circus act, and I'm surprised that people still hang on every word that comes out of his mouth.

Winning my fantasy baseball league - On the lighter side "Lou Brown's Tire World" (my fantasy baseball team) won my league's title yesterday. It was a hard fought season, but my fantasy superiority shone through in the end. Pitching, hitting; my team has it all. Sure, only 5 of the 10 teams had owners who paid attention, but the point is I WON. WOOO HOOO, bring out the champagne! If the Sox and Rox don't want to win something, I guess I'll have to take up the slack.

(Way to bring home the title captain Lou!)

Happy Monday Everyone!

Quick-Post: Ozzie quote-o-rama

Love Ozzie, especially when he gets feisty. Like last night!

• On Blue Jay fans booing Alex Rios: "We need people in the ballpark just to come out and boo Alex the next four days. Please, we haven't seen many fans here the last three or four years. Come out just to boo him. Chicago people, start booing Rios, please. They're booing him here, he got three hits. They were clapping for him in Chicago, and he's was hitting (.174). [...] Every time they boo him, we'll be laughing because they're still paying him like $20 million. [...] How many people are going to show up [for the opener], about 50,000 or 40,000? Tell the fans in Toronto, 'Alex Rios is in Toronto; all you fans come out and boo him.' We need people in the ballpark just to come out and boo Alex the next four days. Please, we haven't seen many fans here the last three or four years. Come out just to boo him.'"

• On the media giving him crap for line-up selection: "I don't give a bleep about talk shows. Those talk shows in Chicago, they're lucky I'm here because they'd be selling cheeseburgers and hot dogs somewhere. I don't care what they think about what I do because it's easy when you're behind the mike and criticize people after things get done."

• On Complaints that the Sox didn't resign Jim Thome: "Nothing against Jim Thome, but when we got Jim Thome, we finished third three out of four [seasons]. I don't know what the big deal is. ... I think this ballclub is going to play the way we want them to play.''

• On away fans booing Sox players: "Put it this way, they booed Jim Thome in Cleveland [when he returned with the Sox]. When you boo Jim Thome in Cleveland, then you don't know what you can expect from the fans. People probably didn't know where Cleveland was until Jim Thome got there. [...] They're going to boo me, too. We have the team that everywhere we roll, they boo. They boo A.J. everywhere. They pick someone to boo. We get used to it."

(Laughing Ozzie fully supports this post)

The sounds of spring: The inane chatter of reporters.

Watching hours of practice can be incredibly boring. I only go to one fall football practice a year because, quite frankly, attending practice is dumb. Considering this, I empathize with all of the sports beat writers across the world. For no particular reason, they are forced to attend practice, watch the same repetitious crap they saw yesterday, and then come up with something new to say about it. They are desperate for new angles, and anything that is even remotely newsworthy becomes 70pt font breaking news. I certainly don't envy them; writing about something when there is no story is brainrackingly difficult (See yesterday's post on 5 year old video games).

This is why you always hear random crap bantered about during spring training (Or Spring practice, or OTA's or Training Camp, or whatever the hell NASCAR has prior to the start of making left-hand turns). Minor incidents become the Yalta Talks. A tweaked thumb becomes career threatening. Fringe players, and the position "battles" that they partake in, suddenly become the next greatest player ever. (Example: The emergence of the "great" Rashied Davis in Bears camp a few years back) More than that, reporters are so desperate to actually "report" that they become mouthpieces for every "best shape of my career" story that's ever been written. It must suck their soul to write this crap, but if the Chicago Tribune or the Denver Post is going to pay your way to Arizona, then you better justify with with hard breaking new items like "Alex Rios looking to rebound from last year" (REALLY?!! .199 batting average was unacceptable in his eyes?!!) or "Jason Giambi shows up" (He Reported as scheduled, and wants to win? HOLY SHIT!) Seriously, the only value those two columns have is to remind me that those players are still with their respective teams.

All of that brings me to the kerfuffle over Ozzie Guillen's Twitter account, or, as the Trib decided to describe it as, "The White Sox Twitter Tiff: Guillen's new Tweets fuel followers and controversy." (Check him out here) What did Ozzie say on his Twitter account to bring about this controversy? Missives such as "3 day of Spring Training and im already boreddddddd" and "Iam tired from bad very bad golf." That's riveting stuff.

(Ozzie is not happy with his golf game, apparently. From: The bored Tribune)

I'm just... wow... just... wow. Even Mark Buehrle think this "controversy" is a load of horse-shit. "I could give two shits about it." (Thank you Mark. You just made my day.)

(Mark is too busy filling up his truck's gas tank to care about Ozzie Tweeting)

I know there is nothing going on right now, but lame stories like this are why I gave up on the "mysticism" that everyone insists Spring Training holds years ago. Yeesh, just get to the season already.

Ozzie Guillen is a baseball genius

In September of 2008 I took a vacation to Manhattan. I mostly went because my beloved White Sox were in town, and this would be my last opportunity to visit Yankee Stadium (version 1.2). The thing I most remember from my Yankee Stadium visit was the drunk dude sitting behind me. I was wearing my Ozzie Guillen Jersey (With the '05 world series patch - Best Gift Ever!), and, as drunken hecklers are wont to do, this drunken idiot had decided to use what was directly in front of him to heckle. The only thing is, he had no idea who my jersey was referencing.

Throughout the game all I heard was "Jose Guillen sucks! Who gets a Jose Guillen Jersey?! I didn't even know he played for the White Sox! Jose Guillen, Jose Guillen!" and so forth. Now, Jose Guillen, despite being payed quite a lot of money by various baseball teams over the past decade, does indeed suck. Ozzie Guillen, on the other hand, is a extremely good baseball manager with a championship on his resume.


(This is Jose Guillen presumably flying out softly to shallow left field)

(This is Ozzie Guillen, even he thinks Jose sucks)

Obviously I shouldn't take drunken ranting to heart, but it does bring to mind an interesting point: Ozzie Guillen, beyond being underrated, is simply forgotten in the conversation of the game's best managers. While I'm certainly biased, allow me a moment to delve into this.

Ozzie is constantly derided by the upper-echelons of baseball writing society. I imagine this is mostly due to his lack of native command of the English language. Also, he loves to swear, in both English, Spanish and his own Ozzie language (Seriously, he talks so fast it becomes its own language). I think its easy for baseball writers (many of them elitist and self-righteous) to sub-consciously discriminate against Ozzie because of this. It certainly doesn't help matters that Ozzie has had some public media battles, and is quick to use hyperbole and expletives to ad-hominously slur his detractors. (I find this hilarious)

The fact of the matter is that he guides his teams to success time and time again, and I'm not just talking about the '05 World Series or the '08 Central Division title. The Sox under Ozzie have routinely beaten expectations. PECOTA (a statistics based baseball prediction system devised by stat genius Nate Silver) is the modern statistical equivalent of the crystal ball. The system predicts the performance of every player and team for the upcoming season. Every year baseball fans wait breathlessly to see the PECOTA break-down of the upcoming season. It is often scarily accurate... except when it comes to the White Sox under Ozzie Guillen. Since the arrival of Ozzie in '04, The White Sox have beaten PECOTA in 5 out of 6 years. Check this out:

• '04 - Beat PECOTA by 4 games
• '05 - Beat PECOTA by 19 games (World Series Win)
• '06 - Beat PECOTA by 8 games
• '07 - Equaled PECOTA (Man did that team suck, I blame Jay Mariotti)
• '08 - Beat PECOTA by 12 games (Division Title)
• '09 - Beat PECOTA by 8 games

(67WMAQ at southsidesox provided the info and inspiration. Check it out.)

That's 51 games better than predicted over his tenure with the Sox. While I don't have a PECOTA subscription, and therefore can't delve into the numbers in greater detail, one would have to assume that this compares favorably to the rest of baseball.

Basically, Ozzie makes his teams better than expected. Success like this over one or two years could be considered an anomaly, but the better part of a decade? That's statistical relevance, my friends.


(Laughing Ozzie appears courtesy of ESPN)

I will always stick up for Ozzie. Not only did he finally bring a title to the South Side, but he was one of my favorite players growing up, so feel free to take my opinion with a grain of salt. If you look past all the bullshit, he is one of the best managers in baseball, and should be recognized as such.