Covering University of Colorado sports, mostly basketball, since 2010

Thursday, December 29, 2016

2016 Gameday Beer-o-the-week - Alamo Bowl Edition

Each week throughout the football season I'm going to suggest a good beer for the ubiquitous pre-game tailgate. Let's be honest, with tailgates it's not always top quality that you're looking for. To steal a phrase from the heinous beer terrorists at Budweiser, you want "drinkability." (or what a real beer connoisseur calls "a session beer") So, be warned, these may not be "the best" beers around. But, in the words of Dave Chappelle as Samuel L. Jackson "IT'LL GET YOU DRUNK!"

*sigh* Back to Texas.  I swore, upon graduation from CU in 2006, that I'd never go back to this godforsaken state, yet here I am.  I guess, if I have to dive back into Tyler's Folly, that I'll have to do this right.  As such, the beer this week is as big and nasty as the place itself.  It's a beer brewed to match the locale -- disgusting, rot-gut swill with no redeeming quality or value. Yep, it's Lone Star, and it's this week's gameday beer-o-the-week.
From: Wikipedia
Berthed in San Antonio itself, this beer has been around since the '40's.  Not brewed there any more, of course, Pabst bought them out at the turn of the century, and moved everything up to larger facilities around Ft Worth.  The flagship brew is an American Adjunct Lager.  You should know what that means, by now: it's a macro lager from a large conglomerate, akin to Bud Heavy and Coors Light.  As such, nothing of any substance has ever been within 500 feet of this beast.  Just processed extracts and fabricated 'flavor.'

I have some friends from college - idiots, really - who once tried to brew coffee with Lone Star.  It went about as you would expect, and they eventually had to fumigate the apartment.  Later, after the event, I asked them the obvious question, "why?"  Their response: "What else were we supposed to do with it?"

I guess I get the point.  Drinking this crap would be far down the list of any sensible, right thinking person.  It tastes like stale piss, if it tastes like anything at all.  The sweetness is all wrong, the bitterness is all wrong.  The whole package is watered down, which, in retrospect, is probably a good thing.  "The National Beer of Texas," indeed.  We should've left it all to Mexico.

Happy Thursday!  Go Buffs, beat Oklahoma State!

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