Friend of the blog Adam Butler (@pachoopsab) is at it again, hosting a 'Deathmatch' vote-off between the Pac-12's various mascots. I was tabbed to defend Chip, which I flatly refused to do. Instead, I wrote up why Ralphie is the best mascot in the West, which is easy since she's the best mascot in the whole world.
Here's my blurb:
"I guess, ostensibly, I’m supposed to be talking about Chip, our Mickey
Mouse with horns made available for the kiddies. However, if you’re
going to talk University of Colorado athletics, there is only one mascot
that matters – the ton of rampaging bison known as Ralphie. Often a
source of confusion, let me confirm that Ralphie is, in fact, a female.
It’s an important distinction, because, if we were to let a male bison
loose, death would ensue; after all, a buffalo is an unstoppable goring
machine when pissed off. With the lady involved, we’re only talking
serious bodily harm, if you’re lucky. So, come at me with your
anthropomorphic plush toys. I got a frickin’ buffalo, and you don’t."
If you agree with me that Ralphie is awesome, or at least better than USC's sorry excuse for a mascot, you should head over to Pachoops.com and vote for our favorite rampaging bison. You can do so here.
Vote early, vote often, vote Buffalo!