2016 CU vs Idaho State Football Teaser

You'll note that this is not titled as a 'preview.'  I'm trying to attune my football coverage to my style in basketball season, reserving full 'previews' for the games that matter.  While still counting full value in the the win/loss column, a game against a middling FCS program certainly falls short of that metric.  Accordingly, this 'teaser' will be more narrative and less formulaic than my typical pre-game fare... shorter, too.  So, without further adieu, on with the teaser...

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Hype Music for the Week: 'Walk Like an Egyptian' by the Bangles

I'll admit that it's a rather lame homophonic stretch to go from the Idaho State Bengals to the 80s pop group 'The Bangles.'  The other option, however, was 'Eye of the Tiger' from Survivor, which I thought was even lamer.  So, here you go; some of the worst pop rock to come out a decade known for terrible pop rock.

The Bangles, you might be interested to know, are still together.  They've put new music out as recently as 2011 (Sweetheart of the Sun), are are currently touring the East Coast (or so a quick Google search would reveal).  They was never my cup of tea, musically, but, then again, my most recent music purchase was a slew of prog-metal instrumental tracks, so what do I know?  Enjoy!

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Is there anything better than a late-summer afternoon in Boulder?  Kickoff from beautiful, sun-splashed Folsom Field is set for 3:30p on Saturday.  If for the setting alone, you won't want to miss this one.  For those poor souls unable to attend, coverage will be on Pac-12 Networks, with the radio call on AM 760.

Click below for the teaser...

Monday Grab Bag: In my time of ding

"In my time of dying, want nobody to mourn, all I want for you to do is take my body home." Just put this damn season out of its misery already. On with the bag...

I've seen some shit - Early in the KU game, we were joking at my house that our 4 score lead was a ruse, and that in reality we were losing and that Mark Johnson was just making shit up to lift the fanbase's spirits. If only it really was all some elaborate prank. Instead Buff Nation is smacked with the 2nd largest 4th quarter collapse in history. It's the 2-ton weight that broke the camel's back. There is nothing lower than this; we have reached the bottom of the bottom-less pit. Over the past 8 years I've seen some truly depressing CU performances: Washington St. in '03, Oklahoma in the Big XII championship in '04, Texas and 70-3 in '05, Montana St. in '06, and Missouri in '09 spring the easiest to mind. This loss, however, takes the cake. It is, by far mind you, the worst loss I've ever seen (heard) us take.

The loss broke my puppy picture finding skills - Kansas is so bad that they allowed a far below-average CU team to build a 35-10 lead at halftime. CU even lead by 28 points with just over 11 minutes left. You would think, with the recent road struggles and the season needing this win to retain it's pulse, that the game plan for the 4th quarter would've been conservative. Had they just sat on the ball, simple running plays and easy screen passes, CU would surely win, and the season could still have been salvaged. Instead, the team begins running trick plays and throwing multiple passes into a strong wind. No great comeback can occur without the other teams obliging actions, and this one was no different. Hell, had we just kneeled the damn ball for the entire quarter it probably would've ended in a Buffaloes victory.

(Speedy's awesome day was wasted because we wouldn't give him the ball in the 4th quarter: from KUSports.com)

This is a coaching loss - Hawk didn't even try to defend his actions. 10 seconds into a contractually obligated post-game interview with 850 KOA, Hawk cut the interview short rather than answer questions as to why he didn't just run the damn ball. There are 5 year-olds playing Madden who know how to sit on a lead, and Hawk won't even try to defend the game plan. Why? Because he knows there is no defense. This team needed that win, real bad, and Hawk did nothing to stop the oncoming collapse.

Hawk, and his coaching staff, let the team down. Sitting with a comfortable lead, they made no adjustments, and instead allowed a reeling Kansas to get back on their feet. It was instead the beleaguered first-year Kansas coaching staff who was making adjustments and fighting to the last whistle. They never gave up on the game, and it showed. The CU coaching staff just lay there like a beached whale, waiting for the coast guard to come by and push them back into the water. No one over there cares anymore; they're just going through the motions. It's fucking disgusting. The kids had their effort (Speedy and Paul Richardson had stellar performances) thrown away all because the CU coaching staff is acting like a bunch of seniors on skip day. If they don't want to coach anymore, then Mike Bohn should oblige them and send them all packing. (I don't really want the entire staff fired tomorrow, I just want them to realize that you can't just mark time and get this shit done. Regardless of what's happening in the near future, you still have to fucking work do your job!)

(Hawk and the coaching staff let this happen. From: KUSports.com)

Audio/Visual presentation - I came to class today prepared with an audio/visual aide! The following is my hastily thrown together tribute to the oncoming end of the Dan Hawkins era.

Listen, I don't really hate the man, or want to do him physical harm, but it's a visceral reaction to the depressing shit foisted upon Buff Nation each week. I'm sure over the course of his tenure with CU that DH has only done what he thinks is best, but it simply hasn't worked, and he needs to go. Honestly, the sooner the better.

What now - Alright, time to take a deep breath. We've known for weeks that CU is done with Hawk. They've even been silently fleshing out coaching candidates. Hawk will be fired by the end of the season; and even a victory Saturday wouldn't have changed that fact. The question is, and should be, does he get to coach the remaining 19 days. Mike Bohn has always been of the mind that you don't fire coaches in the middle of the year. He has his reasons, and some of them I even agree with.

In the wake of the KU debacle, the flames on Hawks hot seat were turned up to 5,000 degrees, and most everyone has demanded DH's head on a platter. Surprisingly enough, I don't think now is the time to fire him. However much firing Hawk this moment would make me feel better, there are only 19 days left. There is near nothing left to salvage this season, and firing him would not improve recruiting or team performance in any meaningful way. The only way to change things would be to get a full new coaching staff in here, and that can't happen until after the season ends on Nov 26th. 19 days.... it's not that long of a time, when you think about it. Having Cabral coach the final 3 games would make everyone feel better, but would it actually make a difference? I don't think it'll put butts in the seats, and I don't think it'll translate into victories, either. Vengeance can't be the only reason to make a decision, and I'm starting to come around to the idea of letting him stay; if you keep him after Cal, and Mizzou, and Baylor/Tech, and OU.... does firing him now to speed the clock up by 19 days make any difference?

Prudence and patience should be the order of the day; we shouldn't act like some unruly mob going after Frankenstein. The man deserves to be fired, and he will be... in 19 days. At this point all the damage has been done to CU and the only shit left to burn in Hawk's reputation and future employment opportunities. He's going off the rails; cutting off interviews early, showing poor class and effort in how he closes out his tenure. Really the only person he's hurting right now is himself. Who would hire a man who gives up and coasts through tough scenarios?

Why do they keep putting the Cowboys on National TV - In non-CU-Suckitude news... the Cowboys were in the national spotlight again last night. The only team in America who needs a new coach more than the Colorado Buffaloes is the Dallas Cowboys. They're fucking awful, yet the NFL keeps shoving them down our throats. I've never bought into the whole "America's Team" bullshit, but this is getting pathetic. The Cowboys were never going to be good this year, yet 5 of their 16 games will be on "national" TV (i.e. Sunday night, Thursday night, or Monday night). Now, they're abysmal and America has to suffer through games like last night. I couldn't even keep that game on in the background.

Basketball starts Friday - Basketball starts Friday (everyone in the Boulder-metro area should attend), and I couldn't be happier. Besides the fact that it gets my attention away from the pathetic football team, it's also my favorite winter past-time. I really wanted to go to the tip-off event this past weekend, but I was still too shocked by the KU loss to leave the house. I'll have the first part of my massive preview probably up tomorrow, and I'm simply bubbling over with excitement for Friday night.

(Tad Boyle greets fans at Sunday's tip-off event. From: The BDC)

Happy Monday (such as it is)!

Quick Post: Fuck My Life

While I didn't have the score even close, I said we'd beat ourselves and it'd be because we'd refuse to run the ball. Yeesh, was I on the money with that one. Had we run even a bit in the 4th, the game, while ugly, would've ended in a CU win. Instead we're running trick plays and putting our QB in a position to make mistakes. Did the refs maybe screw us? Sure, but that doesn't excuse the absolute failure to get our shit together. This is a coaches loss, and nothing else. No adjustments, no accountability.

In his post game interview with KOA (that lasted all of 12 seconds) Hawk said "We were just playing football." That wasn't playing football, that was allowing your kids to be robbed of a victory they truly deserved. Let me reiterate: Dan Hawkins and his coaching staff put the team and the kids in a position to fail in the 4th quarter. Welcome to the end of your career, Dan.

Fuck my life.

UPDATED: Monday Grab Bag: I ain't gonna work on Dan's farm no more

I woke up this morning, folded my hands and prayed for rain. I got a head full of ideas that are driving me insane. No I ain't gonna work on Dan's farm no more. Seriously, he has to go, NOW. On with the bag.

Buffs Lose Winnable Game... Again - The Buffs coulda, shoulda won on Saturday. Up 10 points at home at the end of the 4th quarter, you should never drop a game. (Bob Bell at TRR had nearly the same phrasing. Swear to God I didn't take that from him) Yet, with the injuries to Tyler Hansen and Jon Major, the Buffs just couldn't put enough talent on the field to keep the Red Raiders at bay. Surprisingly, Cody Hawkins entrance into the game also brought with it a momentary spell of vertical passing. Seriously, it looked like Bob Hodge to Jeremy Bloom on every play. However, that series of deep passes in the 3rd quarter would give way to offensive ineptitude in the 4th. After a promising drive ended on another Aric Goodman field goal miss (great to see him out there, btw), the Buffs went 3-and-out on their final 4 drives. The run game: forgotten. The defense: breathless, and left alone to defend the gates of Folsom. Cody: bravely screaming at freshmen wide receivers to cover up for his own ineptitude. It was a disaster, and one that drives the nail into Dan Hawkins coaching coffin.

(I hate Dan Hawk.... OMG THAT'S THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN)

I would've rather been beaten 59-14 over the weekend (I'll get to the Broncos in a bit) than lose a game like this at home. A shameful performance that proves the current coaching staff has no imagination or spark of life left in them, and no care for how the rest of the season plays out. If they have cared, maybe they would've tried adjusting to the 4th quarter defensive schemes Tech was throwing at them. If they cared maybe they would've tried to run the ball to keep the short-handed and exhausted defense off the field. If they cared maybe Aric Goodman wouldn't have been relied on to save the season. The rest of the coaching staff has checked out and is already thinking about their next job, and Hawk is an empty coaching polo as it is. Why are we keeping this guy around for another 45 days again? We might get 1 more win the rest of the way...

(He's got to go, now. From: the BDC)

Season's over *clap* *clap*, *clap*-*clap*-*clap* - The students couldn't even muster a half-hearted "Fire Hawkins" chant at the end of the game. No one cares, and the whole situation is starting to get damn depressing. There are 5 games left on the schedule, and no one gives a damn. Yet, I hear idiots like Neil Woelk telling me that we need to keep Hawk around for 6 more weeks cause it would would do no good to make a change now; that we owe it to the seniors to play it out as is. Horseshit. Not only would the jump start on the public coaching search be beneficial, but I know anecdotally that seniors like Nate Solder have already checked out and are focusing on life after Dan Hawkins. At least Neil, the man who repeatedly compared Hawk to Coach Mac, now admits that Hawk is surely fired.

As to recruiting, what difference does it make between recruiting with a coach who's surely fired and one who's non-existent (essentially the same thing?). Hell, how hard is Hawk really recruiting right now? We already threw away one recruiting class (last year's class when Hawk thought he was fired only to get a last minute reprieve from Oil-man Bruce), shouldn't we at least try and save this one? The thing is done, we need to move on; the sooner the better. (That's not an OU pun, but it's going to sting next Saturday... on national TV too.)

(That's the face of a man who knows his fate. From: The BDC)

Cody, just stop talking - Speaking of the problems with Boulder and the family Hawkins, Cody went and opened his mouth to the media after the game. I never want to criticize the kids who play; they're pouring their hearts on souls out for the paying customers, and deserve nothing but appreciation. (I bash Goodman from the perspective of why does Dan keep subjecting this kid to further humiliation, rather than a personal attack on him as an individual.) However, on Saturday Cody started throwing his teammates under the bus and whining to the media like a little school girl. His petulant temper tantrums on the field after 4th quarter incompletions pissed me off to no end. To make matters worse, he goes into media interviews with his "you're being mean to my daddy" attitude. I don't want to hear how mean the media is, and I don't want to see a senior QB throw his promising freshman receiver under the bus for miss-running a route (especially after he did such a good job earlier int he game). Freshman will make mistakes, the media is going to pile on a losing coach, and those same losing coaches will be fired; it's how this shit works.


Sometimes I feel bad for the kid; his father's success or failure at his job was partially resting on his young shoulders over the past 4 years. It's a heavy burden, and I've given him a lot of passes over the years (excusing him in the on-going feud with Ringo, supporting his a starting QB for far longer than I should've). A part of me even wants to let this weekends indiscretions slide; with his father's job on the line, Cody went 6-19 in the 4th quarter for 25 yards and essentially sealed his father's fate, that can't be easy to live with. However, I just can't excuse petulant attitudes in the face of necessary criticism. If he can't handle it, he shouldn't be on the roster. He needs to be quiet the rest of the season and understand that this is how the world works. Hell, since poppa Hawk is going to walk away with $2 million, the family Hawkins will walk away from this fiasco in decent shape. (speaking of being petulant... that's the last time I'm going to bitch about Cody)

M*A*S*H unit - As for on the field shit, with the injury total piling up (Major and Hansen are done for the season) it's starting to become difficult to field a credible team. With the injury to Hansen the Buffs are one play away from having to burn the redshirt on yet another promising young QB (Hirschman); they're so desperate to keep that redshirt intact that they are openly talking about using WR's Kyle Cefalo and Scotty McKnight as QB's in a pinch. Defensively, with Major out for the season, the Buffs are further short-handed. We'll have to rely on Liloa Nobriga and other young, untested LB's to fill Major's shoes. At least Terrell Smith looked good on Saturday (albeit with the usual spate of freshman mistakes).


(Update 10/25) I forgot to add my thoughts on the Hansen injury. After getting dicked around by the Hawkins family for 2 and a half years (burning his redshirt twice, and pulling him twice), I was happy to see him take over the team. It was his job, and he deserved it. Now he's done for the year. The kid doesn't deserve this. The football gods are spiting the hell out of the good people on this team, and it just aint fair.

The whole state sucks at football - Collectively, the State of Colorado (Broncos and the 3 D-1A schools) lost 183-51 over the weekend. Woof. The Broncos especially, who carry the hopes of everyone in the State, shit the bed. Rival in town, they lost 59-14, showing absolutely no fight. How long before McDaniels is seriously on the hot seat? Since starting his coaching career with 6 wins, the team has gone 4-13.... not good. Bad football all-around; maybe we should become a baseball state? How would that suit everybody?

(The natives are getting restless. From: the post)

Dolphins game - Interesting play in the fins game. With the fins leading late int he ballgame, Ben Roethlisberger dives for the endzone and gets awarded the touchdown. On replay it was shown that he actually fumbled before the endzone, but because the Dolphins didn't immediately recover the ball, the ref couldn't award them the ball. Instead the ball was placed at the half-yard line and the Steelers went on to win. I was actually impressed with the ref; it was a brilliant interpretation of the rule, regardless of the fact that it screwed over my team. I'm just frustrated with the linesman who originally called the play a TD; what was he looking at?

Bears also suck pretty hard - Jay Cutler's favorite target Sunday was DeAngelo Hall. Unfortunately, DeAngelo plays for the Washington Redskins. You would think that after the first 3 picks that Cutler would stop trying to force the ball into Johnny Knox, but nooooooo, he tried it again and got picked for a 4th time. Sigh... another team that I root for drops a winnable game; maybe I'm just a jinx.

("Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you. Fool me three time, shame on you. Fool me four times, shame on the Bears for trading a bajillion draft picks for me. From: the trib)

Happy (lol) Monday!

Baylor Preview

Last weekend I threw my head up to the sky and rhetorically asked why we don't have a men's soccer team. With a men's soccer team, I figured, we could go and find someone, anyone, on campus other than Aric Goodman to attempt field goals. Apparently, the team was already 2 steps ahead of me.

Earlier this week it was announced that former soccer player Marcus Kirkwood would get the first kicking opportunities Saturday night. Kirkwood, a soccer player from high school, has never played a down of 'Murikan football in his life. He's also 6-6 and looks disturbingly like Lurch in his official CU photo.

(Not trying to be mean, just saying "hey, dude looks like Lurch." From: cubuffs.com)

It's hilarious to watch him answer reporters questions in the video on Buffzone; he obviously wasn't ready for, or expecting, the attention. He's absolutely surrounded by reporters in that video! That just shows the level of desperation the entirety of Buff Nation, including the media, feels towards our kicking situation. I don't know how the gigantor-lefty from Arvada will perform the first time he's in front of a football crowd; what I do know is that he can't be much worse than Goodman is/was. At least we're trying something new...

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Bear-ing Down


(Hey TubaJohn, you may not want to read the next few paragraphs; I'm going to whack your alma mater around a bit)

It's awkward that I'm looking forward to this game. Why should a CU grad give two shits about Baylor? CU has historically done 3 things well: 1) send shit into space 2)have hot girls on campus and (current difficulties aside) 3)play football. Baylor excels at precisely 1 thing: existing in an area full of crazies. When you think Boulder, CO you think mountains, hot chicks, all the marajuana you could possibly smoke, a general "librul" attitude, and a kick-ass school. When you think Waco, TX you think Dr. Pepper, one of the great shit-hole towns this country has to offer, and the ATF burning down those Branch Davidian people. You tell me who's got the better life?

Yet, here we are treating this game like a rivalry. It all stems from Baylor alum Buddy Jones getting his panties (little girlie pink ones too!) in a bunch over Baylor not being thought of in any conference realignment plan. In a series of emails Jones, a Texas lobbyist, whored himself and his school out to anybody and anyone who would listen in an attempt to keep Baylor significant. Buddy could see the writing on the wall. It's only by the grace of former Texas Lieutenant Governor Bob Bullock that Baylor is even in the Big XII to begin with. He knew without immediate action, and without powerful friends in high places, that Baylor would've been left behind. So he decided to pick on the school with the fewest ties to Texas: CU.

Working behind the scenes, Mr. Jones, with the support of the Baylor administration, lobbied hard to keep the 6 Big XII South teams together. Jones goes and spins some bullshit (they pile it high in Texas) about how Baylor is better than CU in Women's Basketball (no one cares) and that Baylor's Baptist leanings should make them attractive to other conferences. (Baptist following? Did he honestly think the hippies in Berkley were going to think that was a selling point?) It was a lot of big talk coming from a school without a bowl appearance in the Big XII era. Additionally, somehow (*cough* Baylor *cough*), the news of our academic progress report got slipped to the press a few days early. Baylor was doing everything they could to stay remotely relevant (if you think being the local whipping boy is being relevant). They, along with the other small-fries of the conference, even offered larger cuts of the financial pie to UT, A&M and OU to stay.

In the end, UT decided to stay in the Big XII, and so the dissolution that Baylor feared never occurred. Let me make this clear: UT decided. This was about money and money alone. At no point in the process did UT ever consider Baylor's (or for that matter A&M or Tech) interests. What UT wanted, UT got; namely more money. I guess it worked out for Buddy, for now...

Still, fuck those guys. That piss-ant little private school can suck a bag of dicks. I thank God every day that I don't have to live in that God-forsaken shit-hole.

(TubaJohn gets a pass; he's the only cool thing to ever pass through Waco)

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The Game

Unfortunately for CU, in a game filled with prideful implications, we aren't playing your father's Baylor Bears. Somehow (I suspect with large bags of weed) Coach Art Briles has lured some talent to Waco. I watched them lose to Tech last week and saw a surprisingly big team with speed in a few key areas. This will not be an easy game for CU.

Offensively, Baylor relies on multi-talented QB Robert Griffin III. The kid is blazingly fast; he almost made the '08 Olympic team as a hurdler. Watching the Tech game Saturday, I was also impressed by his arm; much stronger than I had thought. RG3 can sling it with the best in the nation. He's improved dramatically as a passer from his freshman year; for the year he has 13 TD passes and only 2 picks. He is a special player, and can almost beat a team on his own. While CU has some speed in the linebacking corps that will help, no one is going to be able to keep up with RG3 on their own; it will take a team effort to keep him from busting the game open. If it's not Griffin, the Bears look to RB's Jay Finley and WR Kendall Wright to keep the chains moving; but, really, it's the Robert Griffin show.

(RG3 is legit. From: SI)

Defensively, the Bears can be gotten. In the two games in which they played offenses who knew what they were doing (TCU, Tech), BU gave up a average of 45 points. In that Tech game alone, they gave up 635 yards of offense (!). Tech hasn't even been Tech since the coaching switch, and they threw up those stats. You can find holes in Baylor's defensive backfield if you look for them. TCU and Tech QB's combined to complete 63 of 82 passes. As efficient as Tyler has been this year, he should be able to find open receivers all over the field. Safety Byron Landor, DE Tevin Elliot and LB Elliot Coffey make the Baylor defensive machine go.

Prediction Time
Speaking of Tyler, I think he will be real fired up for this game. Hawk slapped him in the face last week by pulling him for Cody, and I think Tyler is legitimately mad about it. I expect him to have a pretty darn good game; especially considering Baylor is susceptible to efficient passing attacks. You may not realize it, but Tyler is completing over 65% of his passes this year.

I also really like the way our defensive line is playing. Josh Hartigan is emerging as a good DE, and the boys up the middle, Pericak and Cunningham are playing really well together. Overall the defense has been good this year, and have been left out to dry by the special teams. Additionally, while Griffin has the potential to be an all-world QB, I think our fast defense has the potential to stunt him a little bit. Ron Collins is a good D-coordinator, and I'm excited to see what he has up his sleeves for this week.


(Puppies... that mean's there is depressing shit ahead...)

However...

I really don't like the injuries to Anthony Perkins and Brian Lockridge. Perkins would've been a huge help this week; keeping track of Griffin and helping in run support (whatever freshman ends up replacing him will struggle). Lockridge helps Speedy stay fresh and effective, and the move of Will Jefferson to RB isn't exactly making me do cartwheels in anticipation. CU needs that run game to keep the ball out of RG3's hands. Combine that with our piss-poor special teams, and I just don't like the Buffs chances.

You're not going to like this, but I think CU loses at home to Baylor.

Yes, CU plays better at home, and, yes, CU plays better in night games. But this won't be your typical night game. Usually CU plays marquee opponents under the lights who bring in large numbers of fans who would otherwise skip the game; for Baylor I'm expecting those fans to stay home and an otherwise under-whelming crowd. Additionally, expect a massive hangover from the Missouri game, and, unlike Hawaii, I expect Baylor to be able to capitalize on that hangover to put the Buffs in a deep hole early.

The chants of "Fire Hawkins" will be quite loud Saturday as the Buffs fall: BU 31 - CU 17.

I feel so dirty typing that...

GO BUFFS!

Monday Grab Bag: What else is there to say?

If Air Force had been playing anyone other than CSU, I get the feeling that the State of Colorado would've gone 0-fer this weekend. It was a rough weekend all around; Superior Liquor was even out of Arrogant Bastard (Rico, you gotta talk to your supply people). Sigh... Onto the bag...

Buffs shut out again in Columbia, MO: Going into the game I knew CU would lose, but I thought we'd score, possibly even compete. Instead the team once again shit, ever so dolefully, down it's leg. In two true road games this year CU has been outscored 78-7, and the annual series with the Tigers ends with CU having been outscored 203-40 over the last 5 games. It's fucking disgusting and disheartening to be shutout yet again by Mizzou, but did it really surprise you? When the first Tiger punt landed at the 2 yard line I knew the Buffs were in for it. Honestly, 2 minutes into the game, I already knew what was going to happen; while the defense had stood strong, the special teams had fucked up twice and the offense already had that "just got prison raped" look on their face.

(Another CU road game, another picture that speaks to the state of CU football. From: TRR)

Defense doesn't deserve this: What's weird about CU having a 78-7 road game deficit this year is that the defense isn't anywhere near that bad. The entire CU defense (yes, even Mahnke) played well enough Saturday night to win. Missouri never looked comfortable on offense, and had to keep scheming to get around the looks Ron Collins was throwing at them (Even throwing a fake punt at the anemic special teams to keep a drive alive). The defense has been solid yet has been routinely screwed over by the offense. Ringo came up with 5 touchdowns scored against CU on the road this year which weren't really the defenses fault. That's 35 points that you can take off of the defensive roll. Subtract that idiotic safety that Tyler took Saturday night and the defense has really only given up 41 points in two games. Any Big XII offense should be able to score 20-ish points in a game, even on the road.

Hell, late in the second quarter the defense gave their offensive teammates the ball on the Tiger 13 yard line only to have the O lose 9 yards and the special teams have their field goal attempt blocked. That series was indicative of both the defensive efforts to keep the Buffs in the game, and the offensive and special teams futility in support.

Penalties, Turnovers, and Special Teams Disasters: The same trio of bad football calling cards was evident Saturday: The offense committed 8 penalties, threw a pick, gave up a moronic safety and gave it up on downs 3 times. The special teams gave up a big return to start the game, had a punt blocked, allowed punts inside the 5 yd line twice, missed one field goal, had another blocked, and gave up a crushing first down on a fake punt. About the only bright-side for either unit was Toney Clemmons emerging with a few nice returns, and Speedy proving yet again that he can function as a lone back. What was particularly discouraging was that after the impressive lack of offensive penalties in the Georgia game, the offense regressed. Not only were there 8 penalties for 66 yards, but one lead directly to a safety, 2 killed a potential game saving drive to start the 2nd half, and 3 more in the 4th quarter conspired to help keep CU off the board in garbage time. They were big penalties, drive killing penalties, which directly contributed not only to the loss, but the shutout as well.

Goodman is a whole other issue. We all know that Goodman can't cut it as a kicker on a BCS school. He's under .500 for his career and has only one make in four attempts this year. Even though Castor has his first attempt blocked, I was excited to see Goodman miss the field. It was about damn time that his ass found the bench; the team needed to cut their losses with his scholarship 2 years ago. Apparently, Hawk hadn't learned anything as he insisted after the game that Goodman would be back. Does Goodman have compromising pictures of Hawk? Why else would he get this many chances? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. By this point in his career Aric Goodman is a known quantity; this isn't a streak of bad luck or a mechanical flaw, this is who he is. To keep sending him out there and expecting a change is proof positive that Hawk has lost his mind.

(Here's a picture of some puppies to help get you through this depressing bag)

WHY THE HIGH-HOLY FUCK DID CODY SEE THE FIELD?!!: I have no rational thoughts on this situation. My id takes over my thought processes and I begin to twitch violently. Regardless of the situation, Cody's entrance into a game is an embodiment of everythig that is wrong with the Dan Hawkins regime. For the mental health of all involved, his ass needs to stay on the sideline.

(More puppies...)

Hawk here for rest of the season and possibly even more: I got a text Saturday night asking for a list of possible replacements for Hawk. While it's premature to think about this (we don't know how prime coaching candidates will finish their seasons), I did include a short list in a comment thread a while back and I think that it still applies today. In the end, I do not believe that Hawk will be fired any time soon regardless of how the team fares over the next few weeks; it would just be too disruptive to fire him mid season. The week before Nebraska is still about the earliest we could see a change. My primary concern is that the team stumbles to 7-5 with a win in Kansas, and the administration forces Bohn to keep him to keep costs down. Hawk needs to go; the Mizzou loss Saturday night is indicative of the direction of the program much more than the Georgia win.

DirecTV decides to show me worst games possible: One of my weekly joys is watching the RedZone channel that is included with my Sunday Ticket package. While the NFL isn't necessarily my favorite cup 'o tea, the RZ channel is a blast to watch. Unfortunately this Sunday they decided to spend the majority of the morning slate of games focused on the Tampa Bay/Cincinnati and Jacksonville/Buffalo games. While they were the closest contests at the moment, they were terrible football games to watch involving teams I care nothing about. While other games were blowouts, they at least had fantasy implications. Whoever was running the RZ channel should've recognized that no one wants to watch Tampa, the 'Nati, J-ville, or Buffalo play.

Twins swept; there is a God: In schadenfreude news: the Twins got swept by the Yankees over the weekend. This is typical of the Twins M.O.; they are a team that plays hard no matter what time of the year it is, so they have nothing left to give once October rolls around. While that attitude may be endearing to fans, and win them an extra 5 games during the season, come playoff time, talented teams who generally coast for most of the season (Yankees, etc.) will take their lunch money. Some people cheer on their division rivals once their favorite team is eliminated, but that's just not me. The hatred I carry for Twins baseball just cannot be stymied once October rolls around, division affiliation be damned. I want to see them lose, regardless of the situation. I will never understand people who go from cheering against a team one moment, to cheering for a team the next.

Happy Monday!

Monday Grab Bag: Is it basketball season yet?

Woof, my ass still hurts after the Cal drubbing. Be sure to count the number of ways I call Hawk an asshat in this weeks bag....

Cal whups CU by 45 points - (I don't have the heart to write a full writeup tomorrow, so this will have to suffice). A senior laden team lead by a man fighting for his job and respectability shouldn't lay this type of egg, yet here we are. The Buffs came out ill prepared; the offense seemed absolutely befuddled by the aggressive 3-4 Cal defense, yellow flags flew all over the field, and, once again, the team seemed a step slow all day. By the time the Buffs looked up, they were in desperation mode. Tyler Hansen even tried to play Brifar by throwing a left-handed shovel pass that turned into 6 Cal pts; and thus the competitive portion of the game concluded.

It was the same performance as against CSU, only against a much better opponent.

It's the same old story; penalties, turnovers, and no preparation. Whats even more depressing is that the loss was almost entirely self inflicted. The Buffs gave Cal short field after short field to work with (through a series of poor special teams work, poor offense and penalties) and, if that wasn't enough, threw some penalties and turnovers-for-touchdowns in for good measure. The defense nobly tried to hold back the oncoming flood, but by the 7 minute mark in the 1st quarter, they were spent. With nothing left in the tank, the floodgates opened and the rout was on. Honest-to-God, by halftime my watch party had devolved into a games of Clue and Scrabble.

We may never know what would've happened if CU had shown up ready to play. While we looked slow and sluggish, how much of that was due to being morally defeated within 5 minutes? We probably still would've lost, but not by 45 points, and not in such an embarrassing fashion. None-the-less, we shouldn't be talking about wishing to have hung with a middle of the road Pac10 team

Devastating Performance - This is undoubtedly the most depressing performance by a CU team that I have witnessed since arriving on campus in 2002 (and believe me, I've seen some shit over that time). This isn't like losing to a legit outstanding Texas team in Houston when our coach had quit, or losing to Montana St cause no one knows where to line up; this is far, far worse. This loss may have erased all the goodwill that the athletic department had scratched and clawed to get over the last 6 months. Attendance will plummet and any enthusiasm or momentum that the move to the Pac12 would've brought may well have been washed away. It's going to be a long Fall....

(Talk about pictures being worth a thousand words, this one just about sums it all up. Head down, we trudge through a long dark corridor. Yeesh, this shit is depressing. From: TRR)

I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am that I didn't spend the money to travel west. To have spent $350-$450 on a weekend getaway only to get egg-on-the-face embarrassed like that would've been devastating to my already fragile psyche. It's not just that they lost big, it's the combination of factors; being embarrassed before our new Pac12 brethren, being embarrassed in front of over 7,000 CU fans who had circled this as the Western coming out party for the California fan-base, being embarrassed on national television, and being embarrassed when we're trying to negotiate a lower buy out from the Big XII. This is beyond bad.

You could hear the pity in the announcers voices; this is a devastating loss, and everyone knows it. At least we can now make the argument with a straight face that CU leaving the Big XII won't cause any lasting damage cause our exit will strengthen the league.

Could we still recover? - Sure. It's not the first time a football team has gone on the road and Wile E. Coyote'd it into a brick wall. Teams (including the '01 Big XII championship team) have recovered from devastating road losses before. Sometime shit just happens. However, I have absolutely no faith, given what the coaching staff has shown over the past 4 years, that we will see such a thing this year. Before the season started I figured a 4-8 season, and that prediction seems as likely as ever.

What happened to all the touch-ups? - We've heard time and time again over the past 12 months that all the team needed was a little touch up here and there; that CU was "this close" to being good. Instead we see the same penalties, the same lack of offensive game planning, the same lack of mental toughness. What little things have the coaches been working on?

I refuse to blame the players - I say coaches, cause that's who let Buff nation down Saturday. Sure, it's the players who have to execute, but preparation is the coaches responsibility, and its consistently lacking. It's not up to the players to game plan for an aggressive 3-4 defense. It's not entirely up to the players to mentally prepare for a BCS road trip. It's not entirely up to the players to fix mistakes like procedural penalties. That's on the coaches. Time and time again we've seen evidence of a lack of preparation; that the players aren't mentally prepared to face game day. These are 20yr old kids, it's not on their shoulders; it's up to the highly paid grown-ass men who "lead" them to get their heads in the right place, and the current staff has shown itself to be absolutely incapable of doing so.

Hawk has 2 and a half months left in Boulder - Well at least we now know that Hawk is finished. Barring a miracle run to the north title and a trip to the last Big XII championship, his ass is canned. Because of the coming general election, I highly doubt that Hawk will be fired mid season if it can be avoided. Bruce Benson and Phil DiStefano would rather eat a plate of brillo pads than make the amount of Hawk's buyout (and therefore athletic spending at the state's flagship university) an election issue. If anything, Hawk could be fired the day after the K-State game, giving the team a full two weeks to get over it and prepare for the final game. This would be an ugly move, and one I highly doubt Mike Bohn would go for. So, 5 minutes after the Nebraska game is more than likely the expiration date on Hawk's stay in Boulder. But that immediately brings me to the next question: who would want his job?

(I realize this shit is depressing, so here's a picture of bulldog puppies to cheer you up! They're so cute I almost forget how bad we lost this weekend!)

Hawk talked last year about arriving to find scorched earth where there should have been a football program. Most people rightly dismissed his ramblings as a desperate attempt to put his piss-poor record in better light. Well, the program certainly is starting to take on a scorched look now, and I wonder who would want to jump head first into this mess. If we can't find a real replacement, the Dan Hawkins hiring disaster may take decades (if ever) to recover from.

Pac10 commish says we're probably stuck in limbo for another year - More bad news: Pac10(12) commissioner Larry Scott puts the chances of CU entering the Pac10(12) conference next year at "worse than 50/50." And the hits just keep on coming. That was supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Next year would be a whole new start, and whatever happened this year would be forgotten. Now, it looks like a long, dark road. Hopefully this is still just posturing, and that Beebe and the Big XII(X) will fold, but I'm starting to doubt that.

Sox season essentially over - In news that matters only to me: after last weeks stumbles in Detroit, and barring a 3-game sweep of the Twins and a minor miracle over the final 2 weeks, the Sox season is over. It's not that big of a shock, we were never that great of a team anyways, but it's still kind of sad to see the plucky southsiders crash at the end like this.

The problem is that with all of the win now attitude of GM Kenny Williams we have severely mortgaged our future with expensive veteran players. With the cheap control years of players like Floyd and Danks quickly coming to an end, how solid and financially viable will the Sox be in future years? The even more pressing issues of weather to re-sign WS heroes Buehrle, Konerko and Pierzynski are hanging mightily over the team, and the direction, and fortune, of my southside boys is in doubt. God only knows how all this is going to play out.

(Are these the last days of Cap'n Paulie in a Sox uniform? From: The Trib)

Calvin Johnson game winning catch that wasn't - Finally, in pro football news, yesterday a game winning catch by Detroit Lion Calvin Johnson was overturned because of a poorly constructed NFL rule. I understand that the rule states that he has to maintain control of the ball til he essentially gets on the bus (keeping two hands on it through the post game shower, buffet, and interviews); my issue isn't with the enforcement of the rule. My issue is with the construction of the rule. The purpose is sound (making sure the receiver "completes" the catch), but doesn't a receiver catching the ball cleanly, getting two feet, an ass, an arm, and a leg down while maintaining complete control of the ball show a "complete" catch? Only when he start to get up to celebrate did Calvin lose control of the ball. It's a cheap way to rob an outstanding receiver (and his teammates) of a cleanly caught game-winning touchdown. Also it cost me 9 fantasy points.


(Calvin deserved better. Chin up Megatron, you're still one of the best in the league. From: the trib)

Happy Monday! I hope everyone has a great week!