2012 Utah Football Preview: Cheer up! The season's over!

It's almost over!  I can't believe it's almost over!  This is the happiest I've been when thinking about football in months.

Just think, after Friday we won't have to pretend to care about the program for at least 8-9 months.  Sure, next season will be another bout with football-as-ebola, but we can all cross that bridge together when we get there.  For now, let's just celebrate the end of football season!  HAPPY DAYS!

--

The season concludes Friday afternoon at 1pm.  TV coverage is set for FX (man, those guys are getting screwed), with radio coverage set for 850 KOA.  Conversely, it's the Friday after Thanksgiving, so you could go shopping instead.  Or sleep in, and do something else. 

Hey, would someone remember to turn out the lights in Folsom before they lock-up the stadium for the year?

Click below for the preview...


When last we met - 

Last season's preview can be found here.

Through a strong defensive performance, and a mountain of good luck in the form of three missed Ute field goal attempts, the Buffs finally snapped the program-defining 24-game road losing streak (remember that?) last year in Salt Lake City.  As the potential game-tying field goal attempt sailed wide, the largest senior class in program history roared with delight, finally claiming the one goal that they had set for themselves at the start of the season.

While the defense played near perfect football, the offense had just enough to squeak out a win.  From: the Post

The Utes, who, as it turns out, only needed to win that game to claim the inaugural Pac-12 South title, were devastated.  They were held by a usually suspect CU defense without a first down for the first 27 minutes of the contest, and scrounged up only 275 total yards for the game.  20-plus-point favorites headed in, to have lost in such a fashion was a body-blow to the program's pride.

The home fans could sense it too, reacting violently to the struggles, even throwing debris at the celebrating Buffs.  It was a sharp renewal of the long dormant rivalry.

Sad Ute needs a hug.  From: the Post

At the time, the win seemed like the passing of an era.  With the Dan Hawkins-fueled road losing streak behind the program, it felt as if all the evils of the previous regime had been exorcised, and the real process of building a program could commence.  That turned out to not be the case.  Instead, that win in SLC can now be looked upon as a blip on the radar, a phantom victory that belied nothing more than a bad day from a nervous Utah team.


Opponent's season so far -

...


Aw, fuck it.

Who am I kidding?  Any hope that these previews would engender my greater appreciation of the game was lost about the same time I stopped going/watching.  It's essentially fuck this shit o'clock for the 2012 football season, and I'm ready to spike this preview.

In lieu of wasting everyone's time, here's a few bullet points of emphasis:

• With seven losses, the Utes are already assured a bowl-less winter.
• They still beat BYU this year, so huzzah for the Utes!
• Here's the NCAA statistical report.
• Their offense is shit.  Their defense is above average.  Both units are vastly better than their CU counterparts.
• Jordan Wynn retired.
• Sr RB John White, after breaking three records last season, has been less effective this season, and needs the CU game to crack 1,000 yards on the season.
• Beastly Sr D-lineman Star Lotulelei will be a high pick in the NFL draft.
• If head coach Kyle Whittingham can't beat CU this weekend, his seat's going to get pretty warm.

Boom knowledge dropped.  If you cared at all about this game, that's all you would need to know about the Utes.

I'd like to congratulate the Utes on being the ones to put a cap on this shit-pile of a season.  Better teams than you have beaten the piss out of CU this season, but you're the ones who get to land the coupe-de-grasse.  Make it count; I don't want anyone bullshitting that they saw improvement this week, and using it justify Kool-aid-laced hype posts next August. 

Fuck this season.


Prediction - 

OMG, IT'S OVER!  IT'S FINALLY OVER!

Alright, I have a few ground rules to go over before I put a wrap on my final football post for eight months.

1. No one is to ever - and I do mean EVER - mention this season again.  It never happened.  Burn it from the record books.  I'm talking Stalin style.  Pretend the school got the death penalty for reasons we won't discuss, and just skipped the entire season.
2. No one will be held accountable for staying away from Folsom for the foreseeable future.  The program is so heinously awful and repugnant right now that I have legitimate fears that their disease of failure is contagious. You shouldn't be forced to catch a contact fail.  Stay away if you want, hell even if you don't want.
3. Should a member of the Buffs4Life crew, who got us into this mess, start telling you what you should think/do, start throwing rotten fruit at them until they go away.
4. If you're in a conversation with some non-CU person who begins to make fun of the football program, immediately switch the topic to basketball and throw it back in their face.  Chances are, unless you're talking to a Jayhawk, Buffs Basketball is better than whatever crap school they're representing.  ROLL. DAMN. TAD.
5. In those quiet times - in darkened, lonely rooms - when the topic of CU does come up amongst us, the beaten-down members of BuffsNation, I highly suggest that you apply whiskey immediately.  Rinse, repeat.

For the actual prediction: a CU forfeit. The players, smelling a vacation from the drudgery of the life to which they've become accustomed to, literally leave the field after introductions.  They just walk off into the hills like a herd of burnt-out hippies, never to be seen again. Coach Embree forlornly shrugs his shoulders, and catches a ride on the Ralphie trailer out of the stadium.  The referees award the Utes a technical victory, and the handful actually in attendance cheer both the strongest effort of the past two months, and a covered spread.

Utah 1 - CU 0
 

GO BUFFS!  BEAT AIR FORCE!