Friday Beer Post: 2015 Gameday Beer-o-the-week - Nicholls State Edition

Each week throughout the football season I'm going to suggest a good beer for the ubiquitous pre-game tailgate. Let's be honest, with tailgates it's not always top quality that you're looking for. To steal a phrase from the heinous beer terrorists at Budweiser, you want "drinkability." (or what a real beer connoisseur calls "a session beer") So, be warned, these may not be "the best" beers around. But, in (not) the words of Dave Chappelle as Samuel L. Jackson "IT'LL WONT GET YOU DRUNK!"

For a watered down opponent, I feel I need to feature a watered-down beer.  However, Nicholls, having lost their last 20 ballgames, looks to be far more than watered down, so I need something... more punchless.  Yep, I'm honoring the Colonels by picking a near-beer, which is why O'Doul's Amber is this week's gameday beer-o-the-week.

This beast has been around for nearly 20 years now as the other half of In-Bev's low-alcohol duo.  I picked the Amber because I hate green bottles, like the one their 'Original' style is sold in.  Why not some of the other non-alcaholic malt beverages on the market, like Sharp's, St Pauli, and Coors NA? *shrugs* Why not pick BrewDogs hilariously ironic Nanny State?  'Cause I couldn't get my hands on a bottle.  The process really is that simple.

To answer your immediate question: yes, you can get drunk off of 'non-alcoholic' beer.  While technically a 'N/A' brew, O'Doul's does still contain about .4% ABV.  Slam 10 of these in one sitting, and you'll have consumed the rough equivalent of a single light beer.  Congratulations!  Now, go get your stomach pumped.

To answer your second question: yes, I have tried O'Doul's before.  Most people who reach for an O'D are doing so for a reason, usually health related.  As someone who's been there before, I'm not going to dish on it too much, but, suffice it to say, this isn't a true replacement for the real thing. To save you the suspense, it's not very good.  The Amber is very grainy, sweet-ish, and (you'll never believe it) exceedingly light and watery.  Best to keep your liver healthy, and the world of real booze open to you.

But, hey, if you're feeling adventurous, go grab a pack and toast CU's date with the dregs of FCS football. It may not get you drunk, but you'll still be sober enough at halftime to drive home, which is a plus.


Happy Friday!  Go Buffs, beat the Colonels!

Friday Beer Post: 2015 Gameday Beer-o-the-week - RMS Edition

Each week throughout the football season I'm going to suggest a good beer for the ubiquitous pre-game tailgate. Let's be honest, with tailgates it's not always top quality that you're looking for. To steal a phrase from the heinous beer terrorists at Budweiser, you want "drinkability." (or what a real beer connoisseur calls "a session beer") So, be warned, these may not be "the best" beers around. But, in the words of Dave Chappelle as Samuel L. Jackson "IT'LL GET YOU DRUNK!"

It's the RMS, so the honorary beer-o-the-week is, as always, Buff Gold.  I'm still not over the change in packaging (where the hell did the Flatirons go?), but it is what it is.  Want to spice up your Buff Gold intake tomorrow?  Why not try a 'Buffalo Maker?'  Simply drop a shot of Buffalo Trace bourbon into a BG, and
voilà!  That'll get you good and feisty in a heartbeat.

Anyways, the official intoxicant for tomorrow evening is something I discovered just this past week.  In the later hours of Tuesday evening, just as my beloved White Sox were finishing off their 17-6 ass-whupping at the hands of the woeful Oakland Athletics, I came across this tweet from blogging hero Jim Margalus:

At the curling club, somebody had the idea to pour a 5-Hour Energy into a malt liquor tall boy and chug it. Give Hawk one of those.

— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 15, 2015

First off, the man belongs to a curling club; props!  Secondly... I became intrigued with this "5-Hour Energy into malt liquor" thing.  The monstrosity is apparently called 'the anvil' and is this week's gameday beer-o-the-week.

If this sounds like a horrible idea to you, then GOOD NEWS! Your brain is still functioning at a high capacity.  Mixing energy drinks/caffeine and alcohol is generally not advisable, and, if the 'Four Loko' stories are to be believed, can even lead to hospitalization or death.  Note: I am not recommending that you actually drink this, and, should you do ignore this warning, you do so at your own risk.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way... for this experiment I chose to mix basic/standard berry-flavored 5-Hour with Colt 45.  Why Colt 45?  'Cause of Billy Dee, duh!  Basic drop shot, then chug.  Simple enough, even a freshman could do it.

The results?  Well, let me tell you; if, as Ben Franklin would tell us, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, then this abomination is proof that mankind does not deserve such gifts.  The taste is awful, it made me feel awful, and only the awful would suggest this to anyone.

The point is, the anvil is truly awful, and something to be avoided -- much like the RMS itself, which is my least favorite day on the sporting calendar.  If you enjoy it - the anvil and the RMS - then God Bless you, but I'm happy enough living my life without either, thank you very much.


Happy Friday!  Go Buffs, get that 'W!'

Buffs vs KSU live-blog

Throughout the game I'll be throwing updates onto this post as the game requires.  All you need to do to keep up with the latest goings-on is simply hit refresh.

Here's yesterday's version for reference. 

Click below for today's live-blog

Buffs vs ISU live-blog

Throughout the game I'll be throwing updates onto this post as the game requires.  All you need to do to keep up with the latest goings-on is simply hit refresh.

Here's last year's version for reference.

Click Below for today's live-blog

Quick Post: CU-CSU game will be shown on the mtn. (Read: Not shown on television)

I have long been an opponent of the CU-CSU "rivalry." It's crap, and CU has to lower itself to CSU's level to compete. Not necessarily that CU is "better" on the field, but that the disparity off the field (conference, alumni base, research grants, reading level, etc.) makes it foolish to stay tethered to them. So I noted with a sigh this morning that the "Rocky Mountain Showdown" (Dismissive wanking motion) will be "televised" on the mtn. network this year. Televised is in quotations because you cannot really be televised if only 8 people get the channel. Seriously, I know that CSU has the media rights for the game, and that the mtn. is desperate to get anyone, anywhere to watch their channel, but fuck them. At least simulcast it on my20 or some shit.

(The mtn. and this blog are neck and neck in total viewers)

A couple of things:

1. The Big XII doesn't count the mtn. network (or for that matter any other cable access channels) as national broadcasts, so CU will lose money on the deal. (The Big XII compensates the individual schools for all nationally televised games they participate in. Not gonna lie, we could really use that money.) I bet no one factored that in when they were pushing to suck CSU's cock for the next decade.
   
2. The mtn. is hoping that the large CU fan base will push their TV providers to provide the network on lower channel tiers. This wont work. Fans who don't get it will just go to a bar, or just forget to care. (Two 3-9 teams square off.... WHOPEEE) Seriously, 5 minutes after the game is over, the entirety of Buff Nation will go back to forgetting that the mtn. exists. 850 KOA just got a boost in ad revenue.
   
3. This deal continues to be corporate welfare of the lowest order. What does CU gain in this deal. We're tied to a rivalry with diminishing interest (both CU's fault and CSU's), and should one, or both, Utah schools leave the Mountain West Conference, the Mountain West becomes an utter wasteland football-wise. What a joke.