Quick-Post: Big 8 Family Portrait

The always entertaining "Every Day Should be Saturday" blog gives us this link today.  It leads to cool piece on Uniwatch full of awesome 1969 anthropomorphic renderings of college football mascots.  These being from the 1969, CU is included in the "Big 8" picture. 

It's fun to see this sort of thing, especially in the light of the conference switch.  We've been associated with the other 7 teams in the postcard for over 50 years, and us leaving is "breaking up the family."  I'm not saying I'm going to miss them, I'm just saying that its a little hard to see all the history with those schools end.

I realize I'm no where near as creative or funny as the guys at EDSBS, but, after spending an inordinate amount of time looking at the portrait, I've decided that this is a good interpretation of the renderings:

CU:  The tough, noble Buffalo is pissed off because the others "harshed my buzz, dude."  As a result he's headed west where people "totally get it, man."

Iowa State: It looks to me as if the bird is about to cry.  No one cares about him, and no one ever will.  "Won't someone pay attention to me, please?  I swear I'll never cause a fuss, just include me and I'll be happy."

Kansas:  The circus chicken is obviously on cocaine experimenting with cocaine and meth to pass the dreary months until basketball season.  He's also thinking of murdering the Tiger "John Brown-style" as an act of revenge. 

Kansas State:  The Wildcat definitely looks mentally challenged.  Considering the low admission standards in Manhattan, I'm not surprised that they would let a retarded wild animal in. 

Missouri: The Tiger is pissed off at the world, and no one knows why.  He claims it's about getting consistently "cheated" out of football games; something about a kicked ball and an extra down.  As a result he's grabbed his football and is going home.

Nebraska: The look of utter befuddlement is perfect.  Not only can you tell that the husker is an in-bred dolt, but an abnormally dumb one at that.  He's also nervously looking at the Buffalo, knowing that in 32 years that Buffalo will gore the shit out of him.  He's trying way too hard to remain focused on the Sooner, resulting in his cross-eyed look, but knows deep down in his heart that the Buffalo is his true rival.  I'm also worried about what he's about to do with that ear of corn...

Oklahoma: Oblivious to the stupid hick on his left, the mostly racist and historically incorrect version of the Sooner is staring longingly at the SWC family portrait, waiting for the day when UT will come to save it from the hell of having to play with the Husker every year.  He's absolutely unconcerned about the "Seven Dwarfs" surrounding him.

Oklahoma State:  Is constantly looking at the disinterested Sooner for approval.  Like an annoying terrier returning a tennis ball.  "I did good, right?  Hey watch this, I can do it even better this time.  Hey, come on, you're not even watching!"